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Roadtrip: By the Numbers

Total Hours: 74

Total Miles: 1668

Total States and Federal Districts Entered: 12

Total Waffle Houses Patronized: 2

Total Moving Violations Accrued: 0 (bitch!)

Total Crosses Seen: 3.147579232345

Beignets Eaten: 2

Total Amount of Time Which An Oppressive Middle Eastern Regime Will Be Propped Up Based on My Personal Gasoline Expenditures: 2 weeks

Middle Fingers Thrown: 4

Middle Fingers Received: 2

Number of "This American Life" Played: 6

Number of Miles Traveled Before Succumbing to Ryan Adams Playlist: 6 hours (an all-time record)

Number of Working Windshield Wipers: Umm...1

Percent of Total Drive Spent Bent To The Right Side of Windshield: 15

Total Minutes Spent Rubbing My Dog's Belly Upon Final Arrival: 17

Aww.

Comments (2)

Brilliant.

Brilliant. Though I must admit to skepticism that you only crossed 12 Federal Districts (if you crossed that many states, you must have crossed far more federal distrcits, if by federal districts you mean voting districts, which would each have a voting member of Congress).

Sounds like a good trip.

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